just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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