the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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