awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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