If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
