I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
