it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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