I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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