I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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