I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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