why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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