haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dignity is for republicans.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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