i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
