I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
