I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
