forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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