Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
