I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
