On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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