I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
