My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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