New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
