When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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