Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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