Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
