just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize