grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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