So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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