Your face is a jimmy john
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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