is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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