I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
