Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The adults are the big ones right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
