you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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