soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
