pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
