Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
