You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
