If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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