Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
