Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
