My brain says no but my pants say off.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
