Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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