In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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