I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
