theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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