his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We are all done wearing pants today
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
