He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
