Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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