it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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