Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
