i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
