lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
