I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
