This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
