Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
